I love taking pictures. LOVE taking pictures. Photography has been one of my great comforts during the past several years of ups and downs. I’ve looked forward to dressing up my kids in holiday get-ups or giving them fun things to do while I snap shots. But all the while I’ve been learning too, and lately I’ve been thinking about light.
Each of these 3 pictures is virtually the same. The only difference is the lighting. The first is very dramatic, with a high contrast of light and dark, bringing out the detail of the blossoms’ edges. The second is dark, making it difficult to see very much at all. The third is somewhere in the middle, giving you a chance to see the composition of all the branches as they cross each other.
This last one is dark around the edges, guiding your eyes to the center and distant, lit up background. Light is what has changed the kind of picture you see, where your eye is drawn and the feeling of the picture. The same is true for me.
When I fill my life with light, I am happier and things are clearer. Sometimes life is darker, even though it isn’t necessarily my fault. This week I had a SUPER rough day, the lowest it’s been in a while, and that was hard…to feel like I had relapsed as far as mental health goes. LOL
But a lot of darkness had been surrounding me. There were some unexpected bills we didn’t have money in the budget for. I really thought that part of our life was OVER! So that felt even more discouraging than it should of because it felt like a step backwards. Since we are giving the Pathfinder back to the dealership after it stopped working after only a month, we are down to one car which is also about to break down.
There are the usual challenges that come with a child with ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder, an extremely talkative 5 year-old and a toddler- messes, arguing, trouble focusing on homework… There were bowel issues- I know, can something go better? Please!!
And then my period starts…
Writing about it now, it just sounds like normal life, but there in that moment a few days ago the burden was so much heavier than that. Even if it was just the normal challenges of life, I felt DONE dealing with those challenges.
Looking back, thinking about light and darkness makes me realize that I just need LOTS MORE LIGHT in my life sometimes. Sometimes light comes from people or music or scripture or prayer or pictures or favorite sayings or quotes. And I just need more of it. When I’m aware of bringing it in, I DO! LOADS OF LIGHT!! 🙂 Then other times I just forget.
But I can’t forget anymore.
So here are my “lights” today…
(while on a walk…a great way to feel some light!)
I guess I will think about that on the darker days…”I’m not a weed! I’m just not quite blooming yet!” 🙂