I had pictures of this cake before frosting it, but now I can’t find them. Let me say though, they weren’t pretty! Not that the finished product is a work of art either (although I think it appropriately represents the chaos and fun of having 3 young children.) But before the cake was a DISASTER! I couldn’t remember if I was supposed to let the cake cool first or try to flip it out of the pan while it was still hot. I decided to try while it was still hot, and I ended up with a hot mess!
The cake was in three, crumbly, odd-shaped pieces. My husband walked in and smiled. Probably partly because he had burned the pork chops that were supposed to be our anniversary dinner.
Now it was my turn to be in the kitchen with my tail between my legs.
“Don’t worry! I can fix it,” I said. “I’ll just add lots of frosting!”
Ricky Ricardo actually said the same thing in an “I Love Lucy” episode where he and Fred took on the housekeeping and cooking roles for a day. My cake wasn’t quite as flat as Fred’s, but it still definitely needed some help to get pieced back together…
and LOTS of frosting.
I couldn’t help but think about that as I worked on getting it ready for our family anniversary celebration. There have definitely been moments when I felt like our lives were just as unstable as that cake. That everything was crumbling, falling to pieces, and not turning out at all how I’d planned. There were days (my friends really know) that I just wanted to give up and throw everything I’d worked on, this shaping of a family, away.
Just like there was a moment I thought about tossing that cake out too!
But then I thought about my kids. I thought about how much they were counting on me. I thought about how much they wanted to enjoy these moments together. I thought about how much we had worked for and what we had to look forward to.
And I couldn’t give up.
I couldn’t ever believe in giving up on them or on me or on that cake! When we are breaking down all we’ve ever needed was more frosting. More sweetness in life. More love. More kisses. More caring. More cutting loose and letting go. More laughter and fun. All of these things smooth over the gaps from our lack of understanding each other. It hides the messes we are as imperfect, selfish people and helps us enjoy our experiences together more fully. This “frosting” of life is the crazy, passionate, love that looks at a crumbly mess and gives it all it has to make it a beautiful, delicious, treat.
I am proud to say we have definitely worked hard and EARNED this badge of 10 years of marriage. 10 years of forgiving. 10 years of compromising. 10 years of laughing. 10 years of sacrificing. 10 years of sharing. 10 years of learning to put the other, and then 3 others, first.
10 years of living with our hearts wide open and vulnerable, because that is what true love is.
And it has been a wonderful 10 years. Worth celebrating, recognizing and sharing with our children.
I love reliving this cake-feeding-wedding moment each year. Look at the expression on Sam’s face. It’s precious. It’s priceless. It’s what the security and joy of our marriage has created. We aren’t perfect at it. But with enough “frosting”, it’s enough.
It’s enough for him.
Look at Michael’s smile. His cheeks are bursting he’s so happy.
And my Sophia. I hope more than anything that I am showing her that even though choosing to have a family means ups and downs, means putting others first, it also means a LOT of happiness.
It’s hard to imagine my life any other way. I am so blessed. And it’s important I see that. I want my husband to know I am thankful for him. I want my kids to know they are blessings to me. I need to remember how lucky I am, so in those not-so-sweet moments I can choose to show more love. I can give them extra hugs. I can remember sometimes we just need to add LOTS more frosting. Love, Eva